This Saturday night, I am hitting the road headed for Chicago, where I will be stationed semi-permanently for the next few years studying and working.
I've been living this way for some time now: venturing from city to city, staying long enough to learn and grow and hurt and love, and then I try (though never quite succeed) to box it all up, leaving much behind but always bringing away a suitcase and a heart too full of things I can't let go.
I wanted this lifestyle for myself. It is romantic and there is so much to be learned and it can really push you as a human being. But it is also lonely sometimes, knowing that the only constant thing (person, relationship) in my adult life has been me, myself. I have met and shared great relationships with people of the highest caliber, but in the end I always have to go. And the end: If starting a new life is one of the most thrilling sensations there is, having to leave it behind is, in itself, a tiny death.
I wonder how things will be in Chicago? I'll be living with my Grandma for these first three months, and I literally cannot imagine what it will be like. I will tell you about her later.
All that's for sure is that I will be very busy, because I am compulsively intent on perfecting my art of living (it is quite time consuming!).
I hope to be writing more and sharing with you the more quiet and exciting nuggets of wisdom I find on my journey.

from my first week living in seoul, july 2007. this little girl had no idea what she was in for

walked out the door this morning and finally felt the warm embrace of spring! it will take some days to defrost from this very harsh winter but this music should be just right for the wait.

p.d. yes i know my taste in music is neither new nor cool but i think if you give the songs a chance you'll find they are quite fitting for the occasion
p.p.d. i did not mean to include THAT paul simon song. it's not right at all. do replace with "under african skies" instead.
p.p.p.d. here is a photo from exactly one year ago today! taken at the feria de la calle defensa, these were my first steps ever in san telmo. crazy to think about how those streets meant nothing to me then, but now...

called lany at 8:00 am on friday, blizzard approaching, heading out the door, and invited her to come along to boston with me... and she said yes!!! this is one of my favorite things about lany.
for the record, we made it up to boston without a hitch, and serendipity even led us to this photo booth at the rest stop where we waited out the storm for a while.

my friend ben has said that books have answers that we should really pay more attention to. if this is true (which i assume it to be- i find few voices of truth more compelling than those of ben and of literature) then...
i swear that, if a sea of strife and carpenter ants start devouring my home, i'm going to leave my silver mirror behind and get the hell out.
if i am in need of warmth and understanding, i'm not going to look past the transgender football star.
when the only clue i have is a key, i'm going to try every lock in new york city.
as i become a linguist, i'll keep in mind that i'll never be able to connect two people as gently as a song can.
and if i shoot a man on in the bright daylight of the beach in southern france, i'm going to suck it up and plead guilty.




can you tell which books i love the most?

photos by sam rutkin

wide-eyed and wonderful~ my little heart just melted

i may be lovesick this winter, but nothing can jade me about valentine's day! tomorrow i am leaving for vermont, fully equipped with red velvet cupcakes, chocolate lace, and a bottle of malbec. i am on my way to a ladies' ski weekend in vermont with my mom and little sister!
though i am so far from my second half, it seems that i am so lucky to have such a warm and caring family of friends right here with me, and all around the world. i am sending you all a big kiss today!

i used to love making mix cd's for my friends, but these days it seems so impractical... here's what i'm listening to lately~ if you're feeling the same i hope you'll enjoy!

the truth is that, of all of the seasons, winter is certainly my least favorite. my toes are always freezing and i just want to hide under a sea of blankets where only my eyes peek out to see if spring has come yet. but when it comes down to it, i hate being cooped up inside all day even more, and so the time does come when i must emerge from my plush nest and face the world! and so, went on another windy//wintery beach adventure in westport last friday... what people don't know is that the beach is just as good in the winter as in the summer. the sun reflects off of every tiny crystal of ice, the wind blows so hard you have to crack up, and parking is free! just make sure to layer layer layer up, and don't forget your shades!





photos by sam rutkin

we got a little relief from the winter winds this weekend so i was finally motivated enough to take off my HUGE fluffy robe and spend some time in my yard with my best friend jan. if only spring was coming soon... but if i know new england winters (and i do quite well), there will be another blizzard on the way any day now... better bundle back up!

brian's been trying to take me to this beach for ages, and finally we found each other in the same place for long enough to spend a night climbing beach clubhouses and finding where the low tide finally crept onto the shore, everything so quiet and steady at night. all it took was a little flask of whiskey (for the boys) and some big old blankets to keep me happy and enjoying our perfect night on the the sandy shore.